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Ken's Guide to the Bible   by Ken Smith

With precision and pig-
iron wit, this compact
volume lays bare all the
sex, gore, and lunacy
that the Bible has to offer...

The Mormon Trinity consists of The Heavenly Father, God~Jesus and The Holy Ghost. God is The Heavenly Father.

God is not the ordinary Jewish god, Yahweh or Jehovah. In Mormonism, Jesus is Jehovah, the god of the Old Testament, the one who said "Let there be light", Jesus is the Angry god who sent pestilence upon Egypt. Jesus' Father is not Jehovah, but a man-like being named Elohim. Mormons know that in Judaism, Elohim is a general term used occasionally in the Old Testament for any divine being, but more frequently in reference to the God of the Israelites.

Jesus was the god of the Old Testament.  We Mormons believe, a spirit must live as a male humanoid  on an earth-like planet, before becoming a god.  This helps of prove our worth to Heavenly father, the omniscient of the planet KOLOB, who, by default, always doubts the worthiness of all souls that he created.   However, Jesus was allowed to do this the other way around. He created the earth as a god (naturally) and then came to live amongst his creation.  Mormon theologians point to this oddity as proof that our earth's gods are the chiefs of all gods in the universe.   This means that just as the hierarchical, patriarchial, structure of the LDS religion itself, the universe is structured so.  Theses scholars often point out to critics who say that Mormonism is outside of Christianity, that the geo-centric views of the universe coincides closely with the Ptolemaic view of the Catholic church.  Thus Mormonism and its polytheism is just the same as Christianity with its Trinity.  We Mormons are Christians, too.  IN fact, we believe that we are the only true Christians.  All who are not LDS are just plain wrong!

Professor Steven E. Jones of BYU, the co-discoverer of Muon-mediated cold fusion has determined that 9/11 was not caused by the faith based Islamics' hijacked airplanes smashing into the World Trade Towers.


Planets KOLOB & Oliblish
Photo courtesy Department of
 Astronomy, Brigham Young University


Often Non-Muslims have
no idea that Muslims
worship the same God
and that Islam preaches
compassion as well
as  hatred, charity,
humility, and brotherhood
as well as disdain for
infidels. Mohammad
founded Islam in 610 CE
after the Angel Gabriel.


But they will find out their faults, either through our Mormon missionary program,  or in the post existence, after death.  Yes, we will seek you out in the Spirit world, before you are allowed to hop a flight to the KOLOB.

The Spirit World is divided into Seven Veils, each separated by another Veil. Joseph smith has not unveiled everything to us about this, but he has in fact revealed that not much can be revealed.  And he has told us that the spirit worlds first two layers are:

   1.)  Planet earth -- the invisible aether that surrounds us all, and, through the veil
   2.)  Planet Oliblish -- the final staging point before flying on to KOLOB.

Mormons always pray to The Heavenly Father -- not to Jesus, or Mary who all dwell together on KOLOB. They do not pray to Jehovah because Jehovah is Jesus, in Mormonism. Mormons believe that Christ atoned for the sins of the world, and so they often praise his sacrifice in prayer. The last of the Mormon pantheon (also called The Godhead) is The Holy Ghost. Mormons refer to him/her as The Holy Comforter. The Holy Ghost, who is an essential part of the
Mormon religion, is given as a gift that provides comfort and guidance in daily life.

To eliminate confusion with other gods of the Bible, Mormons use the moniker The Heavenly Father for God, also known as Elohim. The third deity of the Trinity, our Holy Ghost is not very important in Mormonism.

Mormonism, like false religions, is also polytheistic religion, however.  For Mormons, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are: The Heavenly Father, Jehovah-Jesus, and Holy Ghost. Mormons also have minor deities whom they revere. We believe that angels visit the earth from KOLOB, the Planet Of Origin (POO)  --  of angels and spirits and gods. Sacred (not secret) Mormon documents locked away in Temple vaults in the Mountains near Salt Lake City Utah contain documents and photographs of a 1954 visit of the Angel Gabriel. The sighting of the Angel Moroni (yes that's his name) by Mormonism's founder, Joseph Smith is the basis of Mormonism on Earth. (Mormons believe that Mormonism is the dominant religion on thousands of planets throughout the Milky Way, besides  POO, and other planets extending beyond the Large and Small Clouds Of Magellan and beyond the Andromeda galaxy). Notwithstanding the documented visit of the Angel Gabriel, no photographic evidence of Moroni's visitation survives today. Mormon Scholars believe that the silver halide plates in Smith's possession suffered the same fate as Smith's golden plates which contained the hieroglyphics -- the TRUE basis of Mormonism.

The Heavenly Father (I will use "God" for short) is a physical being, just like you or I, except that he has no blood. Instead, we Mormon thinkers believe that a powder flows through His veins, propelled by air, in an otherwise normal heart. Other slight adjustment to God’s biochemistry and metabolism are of course concurrent with this.

His son, Jesus, (the creator of our solar system, but not of all the universe) is also a physical being, with normal cell function, real blood and so on. The Virgin Mary is a concubine of The Heavenly Father, who had other wives as well, but he never married Mary. Jesus’ half-brother, Beelzebub, the Devil, is also a spiritual being, ( spiritual blood, spiritual lymph etc.,) but He, of course, does not live in heaven. It is God and Jesus and their wives and the angels, all physical beings, who live in heaven.

Mormons make the distinction between spiritual beings and physical beings. The Jehovah-Jesus Duality is The Heavenly Father. He is a physical, being, though his blood carries no oxygen to his brain, and his bladder presumably is filled with Vacuum (Mormon theologians differ).

Spiritual beings do have blood, bile, sperm, etc. Yet the are completely transparent.  As explained elsewhere on these pages, they are as a consequence, blind.

Here’s a handy chart to help you understand what we Mormons
actually believe.. This guide can help you track the progress of
your soul from its disembodied birth in heaven to its final resting
place in one of the four houses of the afterlife...

One Mormon mystic describes the relationship of Mormon gods and Angels in this way:

"Christ is the physical offspring of God and Mary, but He is spiritually the Son of God and one of His wives, as are all inhabitants of every world he created. Yes, Lucifer and his hosts are also spiritual children of God. Because of rebellion, they were cast out of heaven. One third rebelled, and thus cast out. The other two-thirds followed God, and came to Earth, and other planets. Beelzebub, the Devil, Satan, Lucifer, what ever you call him, he does NOT have a physical body, and never will. By being cast out of heaven, he was unable to travel the plan of Salvation. The first step of the Plan of Salvation was to come to earth, receive a body, and be tested in the mortal state."

The difficulty that Mormon theologians have with this Truth, is that since God is the Yahweh-Jesus combination -- just who or what is Jehovah?



We believe that in pre-Columbian times many species of animals roamed the Americas which science thought were extinct. Critics claim that the Book of Mormon mentions animals which do not belong in a pre-Columbian New World. This is wrong.  Often attacked examples include: the ass, the cow, the elephant, the horse, silkworms, the swine. Some sport is also had at the expense of two unknown animals, which are given whose names, cureloms and cumoms, have not yet been translated correctly on the Book of Mormon.

Space Travel

Heaven is on a planet  in the constellation Cancer, sector 2812.  It is called the Celestial Kingdom.  The name of the planet of Heaven is KOLOB.  Mormon astronomers at BYU University in Utah have designated it as OJ287, which is located 3.5 billion light-years from Earth in the constellation Cancer.  KOLOB, or OJ287 throws an overwhelming beacon of light onto our Earth.  This is associated with the path to and from the Celestial Kingdom.  KOLOB or sometimes spelled QLOB (Q'LOB), short got Quasar-stellar LDS Object or Quasi-stellar-LDS Object.  (see derivation of spellings of Koran, Quran, Quoran or Qur'an).  [As an aside: In 1961, a model of color television set, the QUASAR, was named in honour of this Celestial Kingdom on KOLOB, (QLOB) by the inventor of  modern electronic TVs.  He was Philo Farnsworth  Born in Beaver Creek, Utah, U.S.A., on August 19th 1906.]

Space travel near heaven is not allowed, according to some Mormon theologians.

God’s wives and Jesus’ wives produce Spirit Children who grow up, marry and produce more spirit children. It’s exponential growth on KOLOB.


Sex chromosomes of everyone in heaven are slightly different than in terrestrial mammalian biology. This is because a mechanism exists in heaven in which many more girls than boys are born. It is estimated by theologians that the ratio of male to female amongst both physical beings and spiritual beings is about 1:45. This allows a fine polygamous lifestyle, one which Mormons have so desperately fought for in Utah, USA. The exponential growth of new souls in heaven is only possible because the children of heaven, unlike Jehovah, do not have physical bodies. Instead, they have spirit-bodies. The equivalent in Christianity is the concept of the soul.

Spirits do not take up any space at all. If they did, the universe would be full of them, as you can easily imagine with such an exponential rate of growth. There would be no room for anything else. Not for you or me, for toasters, police decoys, or the needle in the haystack. If souls took up space, space would be wall-to-wall souls. They reproduce that much, the souls, at least! Since you and I exist, and have room enough to breathe, it's ample evidence that spirits take up hardly any room at all.

Jesus’ wives, and the wives of the angel Moroni, and those of other angels all produce children. The children are not physical children. They are spiritual beings. Mormonism makes great distinction about who is physical and who is not. Spiritual beings cannot mate with physical beings. They mate only amongst themselves in polygamous marriages. Spiritual beings produce only spiritual offspring.

Spiritual beings have no solid form. Spiritual beings live in the spirit-part of the planet KOLOB. There, the main activity is mating. The spirit world on KOLOB, unlike the spirit world on earth (we have one here, too) is very much like the physical world, except that it is not solid. Spirits interact with each other in normal ways. They enjoy spirit food, drink spirit Dr. Pepper (de-caf, of course), live on spirit streets in spirit houses with spirit pets, cats, mice and all manner of spirit animal companions. In short, the spirit fauna and flora is much like that of earth.

Just as KOLOB is surrounded by a spirit world, Mormon Theologians imagine that the Earth, too, is surrounded by a spirit world. The earth's spirit world is the home of dead people, in limbo for now, who await transport back to KOLOB, (via some other stops along the way (diagram).

But first, they must all be baptized. The baptism ritual occupies much time for live Mormons, because they are required to research the names of all their dead ancestors. Then they must act to as proxies for the Dead Ones, as they stand in to be dunked under in the baptismal font. Without knowing their names, Mormon Theologians are powerless to baptize them. "Baptism For The Dead", as it's appropriately called, has evolved into a very sophisticated form of ancestor worship, as is evidenced by the excellent Genealogical libraries Mormons have built throughout the world, and especially in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA.

Most Mormon theologians agree that all life forms on earth are represented in spirit form in the spirit world. We believe that spirit viruses do not exist in heaven. However, spirit one-celled organisms are possible in the spirit world. They occupy spirit environmental niches, and form much of the bottom of the food chain, like here on earth. Most foods, except coffee, and alcohol, of course, are served in heaven. Sweets are especially prized by the saints and by the angels.

It is known that viruses are completely useless, even here on earth. If all suddenly became extinct, no echo system would suffer, and only benefit would result. Mormon scholars sometimes note that it's altogether wise of God to omit viruses in heaven, and only have them on the planet earth and on some of the other planets (planet Oliblish, especially).

On KOLOB, the main activity is mating. This is because the spirit world of KOLOB exists to supply souls for newborn earthlings. When a soul is needed for a fertilized human ovum, a previously dispatched spirit from KOLOB travels to earth at speeds faster than light can propogate.

This is in opposition to Prof. Hermann Minkowski's (A. Einstein's mathematics teacher) view, in which...

"The speed of light is constant, and inviolable, because it is a conversion factor, converting between time units and length units."

(Science News Sep 13 2008; vol. 174 No.6)

Faster than light travel is easily achieved for Kolobian spirits because spirits weigh nothing.  In fact they weigh less than nothing because spirits are mostly composed of tachyons, which, as science has convincingly shown, always must travel faster than light.

It is a stream of these supraluminal spirits from the planet KOLOB that supplies the souls of earthlings’ fertilized ova, Mormon and gentile alike. About 39,000 babies are born on Earth every minute, right? So figure it out yourself. Souls arrive speedily to lend the vital force to our otherwise useless shells. It is with special spirit, that Mormon wives, who are called "Precious Vessels", deliver their tiny extra-terrestrial visitors. Mormon fathers are especially eager to trigger this process, beginning at KOLOB, in a galaxy far, far away, and ending at the end of a birth canal.

ELOHIMGod, Jesus, and Holy Ghost also rule over other beings in the universe. The Earth is just one planet which pledges, (or should pledge) its allegiance to Jehovah, The Heavenly Father.

Streams of faster-than-light spirits also beam to other planets. They supply the resident extra-terrestrials with souls. Mormonism teaches us that the universe is inhabited on a grand scale, with gods’ children on every habitable planet. The uninhabited planets and The Void act as spacers, or barriers, so that distant colonies cannot contact each other until they develop technology to a sufficiently high degree.


This graphic was taken from a very excellent page here.



In 1975 Yettaw married his first of four wives in southern California. The marriage, initiated because of pregnancy, lasted only two years; a subsequent union lasted six years. In the late 1980s Yettaw converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ( LDS -- Mormonism). He was attracted to the church because of its belief that in the afterlife he could be reunited with his entire family. At a church singles event he met his third wife, Yvonne. They were married for 12 years, had six children together, and divorced in 2002. During their marriage, they experienced a fire that destroyed their home.

Yettaw was returned to prison from the hospital after suffering several seizures. His lawyer has said the American suffers from epilepsy, diabetes and heart trouble. Yettaw, a Mormon, told the court God had sent him to warn Suu Kyi she would be assassinated by "terrorists."

Aung San Suu Kyi

    Mormon President

"This is The Place"

"I have many a time, in this stand, dared the world to produce as mean devils as we can; we can beat them at anything.  We have the greatest and smoothest liars in the world, the cunningest and most adroit thieves, and any other shade of character that you can mention.

"We can pick out Elders in Israel right here who can beat the world at gambling, who can handle the cards, cut and shuffle them with the smartest rogue on the face of God's foot-stool.  I can produce Elders here who can shave their smartest shavers, and take their money from them.  We can beat the world at any game.

"We can beat them, because we have men here that live in the light of the Lord, that have the Holy Priesthood, and hold the keys of the kingdom of God."

  -- BRIGHAM YOUNG 2nd LDS Prophet Journal of Discourses, Volume 4


"Jesus-Jehovah reveled himself to our Mexican - American brethren ("'Not white, yea,  not delightsome"). He came onto them in the form of Quetzal-coa-tl,  the snake which sprouts feathers."
  -- Joseph Smith; History of the Church, Vol. 665, p. 776More: Link here

To this day, Mormons and Central American Indians recognize the god Quetzalcoatl as the Feathered Serpent.


We Mormons are Chosen People.  We descended form the Lost Tribe of Israel.  It's not true that DNA shows this to be false.  It's a gosh dang lie known to have been propagated by the Masons and by the International Conspiracy of Jewish Bankers.

Mormonism is to Christianity
 as cargo cult is to civilization.

True or false ?

Yes, nuclear DNA and Mitochondrial DNA evidence does seem to point in this direction, yet   evidence is not proof, no matter how strong the supposed evidence!  And SPIRITUAL DNA, which is physically embodied in the spiritual (though invisible) bodies  of our ancestors who surround us, wall to wall -- this DNA is certainly 100% Lost-tribe-Jewish.  No matter what apologist apostates like Salt Lake City attorney Jose A. Loayza says.  Who is he?  He knows nothing of critical thinking. After all, he only went to law school and knows nothing of TRUE science.

As he admits (ktla.trb.com/) he was surprised to hear that scientific, not spiritual, DNA evidence even existed!  Nowadays he seems to be been reading too much science.  He's using logic and that's certainly not called for, especially in matters of faith.  Mormonism is faith-based, after all like all great  and small religions, true ones and false ones.

All religions except LDS are false, BTW; that's why we send young missionaries all over the world to explain this to all unbeleivers.  And that's why those who don't understand Mormonism or disbelieve us will never go to the highest celestial Kingdom: Heaven.



Mormon Under-garments


Space travel

Cold Fusion

2012 presidential candidate
Mitt Romney's underwear collar betrays
his Mormon garments. 

   An outward expression of an inward commitment.
Click to see the Nipple Protectors

can participate in

the Search for ET!





Holy Ghost is invisible. Like every transparent being, Holy Ghost, too, is blind. (Every school-boy knows that vision depends on the interaction of photons with pigments in the retina. Holy Ghost's retina does not interact with light, allowing it to pass right on through -- that's why he can't be seen. Holy Ghost's retinas cannot derive information form the photons which zoom right thru them. That's why he is blind.)

Spirit beings, Mormon Scholars tell us, are blind. But real inhabitants of KOLOB have ordinary biological bodies, with a few minor differences.