H
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VOID where prohibited
 by Community Standards.
 You must be worthy. 

Masturbation...really 
Mormon Theology
Space Travel
Mormonism & NASA
The Speed of Prayer
3 Nephites !
 Perfect Beings
The Celestial Lottery!
The Devil made me do it
Temple ceremonies
Kiss Hank's Ass
 A Curse
Egyptian Alphabet
The 1st Vision
Pope
Let us Pray
The Liahona  

 It looks like the Real Thing!  

To print, click on the image. You must be  worthy to use.  we're sorry, but temple recommends are only good for  one year because you may not be worthy much longer than that.

Void where prohibited.  This pass is also  valid on the following planets: 
KOLOB, OLIBLISH, and "various other ORBS".

Note:  For SECURITY REASONS, the months are shown in English.  You will speak the name of your month of birth, In Adamic, the language of KOLOB.  How?  Click here.  Your temple-password will be your month of birth, whilst making the "Sure Sign of the Nail" -- How?  Click here.

Secret Mormon Handshakes	Photo Courtesy NOMO.COM

CAUTION!   For planet ENISH-GO-ON-DOSH,  you must apply for a pass in REFORMED Egyptian.      NEGROES apply here.

Remember, YOU MUST BE WORTHY!
If you fail to do this the temple doors will not open.  Once inside, be sure to lock up your valuables -- a locker is reserved for you!

Did you see a Nephite?
Please...
Call
 1-800-NEPHITE

Real Nephite Sightings

Note: Before a person can enter the temple, they must have developed a certain degree of spiritual maturity, as evidenced by issuance of a Temple Recommend. However, strictly speaking, a Temple Recommend is not necessary. For unworthy people, the temple doors will simply not open. Neither is it required to stow one's clothing in temple lockers -- under lock and key, in order to perform the temple rites. Only worthy and honest people can enter the temple, and theft within it's sacred walls is not possible. The locks and leys are provided for only so that you can remember where you hung your pants.

Leaving Mormonism?  Look HERE!

Letters ...
...about this site NEW 
 

Links:
Temple Questions [pic]
Fade to Black Comedy
Avoid the horizontal
1897 Recommend [pic]

THIS WEB SITE IS TRUE AS FAR AS IT HAS BEEN TRANSLATED CORRECTLY

     FAQ:
Q:  How do I become worthy?
A: There is no need!  If you have THIS temple recommend, you ARE automatically worthy, wink wink , nudge nudge ;)

Q:  How can I enter the temple,  if I don't want to use this phony temple recommend?
A:  We'll usually let you in anyway,  if you just PROMISE to pay the 10% in the future.   But  you should pay 10% of this month's income, as earnest money. 
     We  trust you, as far as you can be trusted correctly.

Q:  If I don't want to use your phony piece of shit, on this site, can I purchase a REAL one --  on eBay?
A:  Yes.  Search under "Genuine Mormon Temple Pass".

Q:  I'm BLACK.  Will I be accepted?
A: You are a descendent of CAIN, a Negro.  But we treat you as one of our own.   Mormon Temple locations, but NOT in Africa.  Why?

Q:  I don't believe this website!  Is this for real?
A: Yes.  Look here.

Q:  I'm a Neo-NAZI.  Will I be accepted into the [external] Idaho Temple?
A: Yes, if you are worthy.  Gott mit uns, we say.  
    (You may apply for your temple recommend, get  your special Logo: or print your own -- coming soon.)
Q:  Is there censorship in the Mormon Church?
A: No.  Trust us -- We know.